Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--and Keep--Friends (Hardcover)
Instant New York Times bestseller
Is understanding the science of attachment the key to building lasting friendships and finding “your people” in an ever-more-fragmented world?
How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!). As Dr. Franco explains, to make and keep friends you must understand your attachment style—secure, anxious, or avoidant: it is the key to unlocking what’s working (and what’s failing) in your friendships.
Making new friends, and deepening longstanding relationships, is possible at any age—in fact, it’s essential. The good news: there are specific, research-based ways to improve the number and quality of your connections using the insights of attachment theory and the latest scientific research on friendship. Platonic provides a clear and actionable blueprint for forging strong, lasting connections with others—and for becoming our happiest, most fulfilled selves in the process.
About the Author
Dr. Marisa G. Franco holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Maryland and works as a professor there currently. She writes for Psychology Today and she has been a featured psychologist in The New York Times, NPR, and Good Morning America. Dr. Franco delivers talks about connection and belonging all over the country to private companies, universities, and non-profit organizations.
“Dr. Franco’s book ‘Platonic’ is an ode to modern friendship, complete with a practical guide to making and keeping friends. It reminds us of the importance of platonic love in today’s society—bucking the notion that romantic love trumps everything else in our lives…the depth of research Ms. Franco weaves into the book sheds light onto an aspect of our world that—like an old and trusted pal—it may be too easy to take for granted.” —Wall Street Journal
"A remarkable examination of the epidemic of loneliness and sound advice for alleviating it...A pleasing mix of research, advice, and humor, this book is a useful tonic to a key social ailment." —Kirkus Reviews (starred)
"A smart and savvy guide on forging friendships…This has wisdom to spare.” —Publishers Weekly
“As a culture we have long been obsessed with romantic love and parent/child love, and yet it will be our friendships that will most determine our health and out happiness. Reading Platonic will not only inspire a shift in your priorities, but will guide you to create the community you crave. Filled with studies, interviews, and real-life stories, Marisa Franco leads us back to what matters most: love in all its forms. If you want to feel genuinely connected, read this book.” —Shasta Nelson, author of Friendships Don’t Just Happen!
“There isn’t enough conversation around some of the central relationships in our lives: friends! We are craving information about how to make friends, keep friends, and be a better friend and Platonic delivers. I’m so impressed with the research and thoughtfulness in this book, and I learned so much about what might have gone wrong in my past friendships and what I want out of my current and future relationships. I closed this book determined to prioritize my friendships as one of the most important aspects of my life.” —Laura Tremaine, author of Share Your Stuff. I’ll Go First.
"Filled with evidence-based tips and stories you can't wait to share, Platonic is a fantastic guide not just for making and keeping friends—it's also a manifesto for how to more effectively invest in the stuff that really matters in life." —Laurie Santos, Chandrika and Ranjan Tandon Professor of Psychology at Yale University and host of The Happiness Lab podcast
“Platonic is an intensive exploration about the healing nature and safe-haven to be found in friendships. It’s a gentle, yet affirming, call-in for us to investigate how we’ve regarded the platonic relationships in our life and opportunities for deep fulfillment that we may be missing out on.” —Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D., Founder & CEO, Therapy for Black Girls
“If you don’t want to see the doctor, see your friends. The evidence on this is very clear—having strong connections is the lowest-hanging fruit on the tree of a healthy life. What’s less straightforward is how you go about doing that, so see this doctor and she’ll help keep you away from the other ones." —Billy Baker, author of We Need to Hang Out